I've just been reading about the Portfolio Project dreamed up by Jen Lemen and Jen Lee to circumvent their procrastination, perfectionism, and negative inner voices, to just get some work done. The idea is to just do it.. to go for quantity instead of quality.
I think I might need some of that. In the spirit of that, I am going to blog every day (did i just say that?).. omg. I might write a load of crap (and hopefully a few gems), but I'm going to do it. Starting today. So here I am.
I also am in the process of refining what I want this blog to be. And I think I want it to be a record of my family's life. I want to focus on that. Yes, I do. That's scary, but that's what I want. I want it so that I will look at what I have right in front of me, and because I love them so damn much. I want to get it all down. I haven't done that as much as I'd like. Thankfully, Ted has taken so many photos and videos, he has filled some of the gap. I'd like to add the written commentary. From my perspective anyhow.
I'm not sure how to start. I'm kindof lazy, or afraid of being fully alive, one or both. That's hard to admit. Some things that happened today: Maeve cried hard this morning about wanting me to be at school with her all day. What is she afraid of? Her school is lovely. She is lovely. I want to give her lots of chances to cry when she needs to. I just listened, and she kept telling me about it. I'm glad. I let her stay home this morning, not sure if it was the right thing to do. But we played, she watched a movie, she and I and Farah all danced together as "princess ballerinas". Maeve is very graceful.
Noam had a playdate at a friend's, then came home at dinnertime. He isn't as charming at nine, I have to admit. Critical of his sister, just starting to not want hugs all of the time. But he kissed me a number of times before bed passionately on the cheek. He's a funny one. We wrestled vigorously on my bed together for about 15 minutes. He laughed so hard. It's probably our most fun thing to do together right now. I'm so glad I can wrestle him.